An excerpt from " "Scientific Creationists" Must Be Destroyed " by Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons
found on www.SomethingAwful.com


I hate creationists. Let me get that right out in the open because I really want to be honest and forthright here. I never hold religious beliefs against people as long as they generally keep their beliefs to themselves and don't try to ram them down my throat. Creationists are a wholly different breed. They not only want to ram their fantastic beliefs down my throat and your throat, they constantly strive to shove them down the gullet of every kid attending public schools. Think about the number of times creationists have managed to convince some gullible school board in Missouri or Texas to actually teach their made up mythological horseshit as if it were fact. Then to attack evolution, not to mention human history and biology, they attempt to invalidate scientific methods by rattling out the same old list of idiocy about carbon dating being incorrect and cavemen jousting from the backs of pterodactyls five hundred years ago.

I could devote this rant to refuting creationism's moronic claims, but frankly that is always an exercise in futility. Anyone stupid enough to believe that the world is 6,000 years old couldn't be convinced that their blood is red if you cut out their heart and shoved it into their eye socket. But their aggressive stupidity cannot go unassailed, so I am going to blow the lid off some of the claims that the creationists DON'T want you to know about. These are the equivalent of the crap about the volcano and Xenu that the Scientologists will hide from you until you dump about a million dollars and twenty years into their pyramid scam. Creationists instead wait for your children to finish their high school classes on "creation science" that have been forced upon them and then the creationists pounce, letting your kids in on the amazing secrets of creationism.

Because about three fourths of what is written in the Bible has been totally discredited by science creationists have embraced two tactics. Their outward tactic is to attempt to discredit science by citing dubious "facts" and pieces of scripture. To maintain a large number of believers they have also secretly developed "creationist science" which borrows heavily from both the Bible and science yet manages to be ten times more ridiculous than the stupidest folklore about a fish giving birth to the world from the clouds...